When analyzing this question there are many components that come to mind. The me from 2008 would have addressed this question
with cliché offerings . Clinging to the belief that a strong women is a women with quality and character. One who puts her children's needs above her own. Handles her business in the face of adversity, and lastly never allows herself to get knocked down without getting back up. Although all of these things are true in reference to the strength of a women and mother I now dive deeper when searching for the proper answer to this question when asked. You see I now know through trial and error what true strength is comprised of.
Often hearing others frequently throughout my life tell me how strong of a women I am. Often holding those beliefs based on what they assumed they knew to be true about me. Looking at the young women who became a young single mother at the mere age of seventeen. Noticing her desire to strive and be despite her circumstances and lack of resources. Becoming a high school dropout . A few years later retrieving a G.E.D and attending and graduating college with honors in 2012. Always managing to set goals and achieve them with no support, resources, or reassurance.
Blossoming into a women who knew the strength and power of faith and favor because it was all she truly ever had to rely on .
In my latest work I talk about the many events that molded me to be strong. Often coming back to the same realization that majority of my strength manifested from pain.
Dark moments in my young existence when I desired the protection and love that all young women want . Walking into situations expecting one dynamic while unfortunately walking away with another that was undesirable. Telling myself that this culture of life was one that had been selected for me that could not be altered. Making due with what I had while silently craving more! Waking up one day with a new paradigm. Recognizing that the things that had happened to me, had also happened for me.
Instantly altering my thought process. You see the world would have me believe that I was strong because I had not drowned in my own existence. Telling me that I was strong because I had made it through trauma, abuse, disappointment, teenage motherhood, fake friendships, and the list goes on. When in fact those were not the most important components of what made me strong. While trying to cultivate this project and many others I was battling a lot of issue. Never allowing myself a moment to be consumed with my struggles. Or even allow myself a moment to pause and feel because I told myself strong women don't pause they keep going.
Later recognizing that it was my inability to address all that I had endured that kept me from my true level of strength. I had been the women to walk away from two long-term relationship's and a marriage. Not looking back, raising the kids alone and providing for them without any help. Telling myself that I was strong because I was a great mom. Strong because I was a go getter. And strong because I had mastered the ability to push past my hurt by ignoring it all together. Avoidance had become the culture of life I walked in fluidly.
That is until I started to write my story realizing I needed healing . Going through the healing process and finding that it can be just as harsh and uncomfortable as pain and trauma. Later coming to the realization that true strength is found through self assessment, acknowledgement, growth, and forgiveness. So if you were to ask me this question today my answer would be different. Based on my perspective and experiences a strong women is a women who can acknowledge her trauma, asses her pain, recognize the role she played in the events within her life, and forgive . Evolving into the ultimate strong being by recognizing that there is something that can be taken from both the good and the bad. This my friends is what makes a strong women in my opinion! Carly Simon reminds us of what true strength is when she said "A really strong woman accepts the war she went through and is ennobled by her scars"-Carly Simon, musical artist
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